Below are the 14 most recent journal entries recorded in gladyoumadeit's LiveJournal:

Saturday, December 10th, 2005
12:26 am	when things change... i don't like how so many things in my life are changing. i feel like i just got used to how things were, and they were nearly perfect. now, people are graduating, people are moving, college is ending, future is approaching, and i'm not ready for it all. one of my best friends left today and i'm sad. really sad and i can't stop thinking about how different things are going to be without him near to me. where will i go when i need someone to make me laugh the only way that he knows how. who will make me dinner and entertain me with his stories. who will do the 30 second sound bite from sri lanka and remind me of the greatest experience of my life. god has blessed me with this person who has changed my life in ways that no one else could. he was like a present that i never thought i'd get, nor did i think i wanted. but i opened it and it's the best thing i ever got. it's cool how people can change your life in such a short period of time. he has changed my life and i'm going to miss him so much; so much it hurts. another best friend of mine graduates tomorrow. this one has yet to sink in, but it's going to hurt just as much. tyler's like my twin brother. he loves life so much and from the day i met him, i have enjoyed life more. he's going to change the world and i couldn't be more proud of him. i'm selfish because i want him to stay, but god has bigger plans for him than slo, or even america for that matter. ahhh, i could just cry. next quarter is going to be weird. two of my best friends up here will be gone. i can get so sad thinking about all this, but i can't because when i look at it, i realize more and more about god's love for me that he would put these men in my life. i'm so thankful for tyler and mario, they are amazing. i thank god for bringing them into my life and teaching me in so many ways. (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 6th, 2005
2:51 pm	because I made her...she is different. She's unique. With love I formed her in her mother's womb. I fashioned her with great joy. I remember with pleasure the days I created her (ps. 139:13-16). To Me she's beautiful... I love her smile. I love her ways. I love to hear her laugh and the silly things she says and does (ps. 139:17). She is herself and no one else...this is how I made her. I made her pretty, but not beautiful, because I know her heart, and she would be vain... I want her to search out her heart, and learn that it would be Me in her that would make her beautiful and it would be Me in her that would draw friends to her (1 peter 3:3-5) I made her in such a way that she would need Me. I made her a little more lonesome than she would like to be... only because I would like her to lean and depend on Me. I know her heart. I know if I had not made her like this, she would go on her own chosen way, and forget Me... her Cretor (ps. 62:5-8) I have given her many good and happy things, because I love her (ps. 84:11, romans 8:32) I have seen her broken heart, and the tears she had cried all alone. I have been with her and have had a broken heart too (ps. 56:8). Many times she has stumbled and fallen alone only because she would not take My hand. So many lessons she learned the hard way, because she would not listen to my voice (isaiah 53:6). So many times I have sat back and sadly watched her go on her merry own way alone, only to watch her return to my arms, sad and broken (ps. 34:18). And now she is Mine again. I made her and then bought her I paid a high price for her, because I love her (romans 5:8). I have had to reshape and remold her... to renew her to what I have planned for her to be. It has not been easy for her, or for Me (jeremiah 29:11). I want her to be conformed to My image. This high goal I have set for her because I LOVE HER. (2 cor. 2:14, Romans 8:29) Current Mood: calm (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 28th, 2005
1:36 am	rollar coaster i'm up, then down. high, then low. it's so lame. i feel like an idiot all the time. i used to live with joy in my heart, and an excitement to grow and serve. things have changed. i don't feel like myself lately. i'm in the right place, at the perfect time. my heart just sucks right now. i look at aspects of my life and how amazing they are, yet i still manage to screw things up, or manage to make trvial things huge. i didn't know i was still in high school, but the way i've been acting, you would think so. there is no time like the present to change this attitude. i no longer want to be independent, or to think that i am. seriously. create in me a clean heart, o God... please. blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Current Mood: okay (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 1st, 2005
12:21 pm	really though this is a new year and i can only pray that i make it an awesome one. a year where i'll realize the abundance of blessings in my life. a year where i'll gain discipline in all areas of my life from the physical to the spiritual. a year where i'll stop talking when i shouldn't be talking and where my yes's will be yes's and my no's will be no's. and maybe in this year i'll learn to say no. stop putting the need to please everyone before the desire i wish to have to please my God first. i want to fall in love. yes, with some amazing guy but first, i want to again with my savior. i want the passion again to live for him, to read his word daily, to submit myself to him, to use the power of prayer and the power of his holy spirit living in me. God has called me to a place in my life and for such a time is this. i could call it a resolution, but rather i call it a change; a re-dedication of my faith. (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 16th, 2004
9:54 am	bi polar maybe? so, i think i'm bi-polar. i have days where everything is against me, and then the next, everything is wonderful. yesterday, i didn't go into work for a handful of reasons. 1. i feel useless there sometimes and they don't like it when i come in and have nothing to do. 2. i'm freakin lazy as anything and i overslept so i figured i deserved a day off. now, today, when i walked in the door, i was seriously expecting to get fired. no joke. i say that about once a week, that i'm gonna get fired, but today i was almost sure of it. i walked in awfully timid only to get warmly greeted by my co-workers. my boss even fixed my computer. are you kidding me? how blessed am I with this job? yesterday, i was even comtemplating quitting because i didn't think they wanted me here anymore. wow, sometimes i doubt the grace that other people can extend to me. i also doubt myself and was i can contribute to a group or in this case an office setting. anyway, my dad came into town yesterday. he was on his way home from business. can i just say that i love my dad so much. he's amazing and i can't appreciate me any more than i do. he's great. i want everyone to meet him and be his friend because it would make their life better, i know it! i told him about my trip i want to take. i want to go to washington DC over spring break, by myself, and hang out in the city for about five days. totally random, but i REALLY want to go. i'm gonna stay at my friend's apartment and while she's at school, i'm gonna wonder the city!! YES!! i got flight information and it's only about $300 round trip. i mean, after i graduate, i plan on moving out there and starting my political career, so i better make sure that i like it there! so, the only worry i have about this trip is my parents approval. my dad couldn't have been more stoked about it! it was so encouraging! so, if anyone wants to go to DC with me over break, let me know, cause i'm going for sure! heck yes. Current Mood: determined (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, December 6th, 2004
11:55 am	THveritasAW: he should fall in love with you carly always knows what to say to make me smile. i love her. she gives me hope, and comforts me her unconditional love. i am so blessed. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 2nd, 2004
11:41 am	YESS!!!! katy is getting married! david had his meeting with the immigration people in budapest this morning at 3, different over there, but 3am here, and they approved him. holy crap. katy is getting married for real now. and she has never been so happy. she deserves this so much. god is so good. and she knows it and it's so refreshing to hear joy in her voice again. so, david is flying out here this weekend, i think and then they're gonna get married at the court house over christmas break... and guess how the witness is, ME! yes, love that. they'll have a ceremony and reception later in life, in like a year because they can't afford it. but, they had to get married within 90 days of david being in the country. freakin crazy immigration rules. but, when they had the big wedding, i'm the maid of honor and what an honor it is. katy is awesome. it's about time something amazing happened to her. soo stoked. Current Mood: excited (Comment on this)
Friday, October 8th, 2004
4:33 pm	awesome my life is crazy, and by crazy i mean amazing. nothing is better than a friend introducing you to one of their friends by saying, "this is melanie, she's amazing." how nice is that? yeah, this friend is always so nice and sincere; i'm so thankful for him. school is all back in the heezie and it's insane. i love all my classes and i even enjoy my extremly liberal teacher who talks crap on Bush for the whole class because she makes me so glad that I what am I. I love George W. Bush. i love my major; political science. it's the best for me and what i want to do with my life. that's affirming because for a while i was wondering what the heck i was getting myself into. and i might minor in speech communicaitons and theatre. YEAH! the bible study that i'm leading with Ande is so much fun. the Lord is amazing in putting all the girls in this one study. i get nervous sometimes because i feel so young in my faith, how can i guide freshman girls in any way, but again, the Lord has a different plan that what I thought and it has been going to well. this year the Lord gave me the opportunity to serve crusade by being the MC. holy crap, so fun. but, so different that what i thought it was going to be like. lessons that i have learned thus far: (mind you, it's been 3 weeks) 1. i'm more sarcastic than i thought 2. people think i'm crazy 3. you can't please everyone. getting to meet knew people in crusade and all over slo has been so great. getting to work with jeff has been great too. he's hilarious and we have so much fun up there together. tonight is one of my last Annie shows. ahhhh... who would have thought i would be sad that it's nearing the end. what an experience it was. tonight, there is a sleepover for all the girls in the cast; Annie, the orphans, and select view of the older girls... ME!! i'm so excited to hangout with 7-13 year olds and talk about boys. i'm playing basketball again. IM sports baby! and it's so much fun. even though i suck, it's just great to run around and be competitive. sweeeeeeeet. i love everyone. g'night. (Comment on this)
4:22 pm	ummmmmm sometimes i spend too much time thinking about my past. today i read some old emails that took me there all over again. normally, it would leave me depressed and longing for what i once had. today, it brought me joy. that i loved someone that much. i forgot that i was capable of that. not that i don't love every friend that i have now, but knowing that i could love a person more than anything, and that a person could give it back to me gave me that feeling inside of when i first feel in love. conversations are different, but the past is still the same. less is known about each other, but nothing is forgotten. words are spoken that the other can anticipate. that will never change, because no matter who you are, how strong you may be, once you say you love another person and believe it in your heart, it is impossible for you to never not love them again. the magnitude of love can change, but in the core, that love that sprouted will never cease to grow. i love you, and i always will. not in the sense that we once shared, but how i feel about you will forever be feelings of admiration and respect. you taught me more that any human has. our time was short, shorter than I had hoped, but you forever changed almost everything about me. for most of the time after, i was bitter and held it against you. now, perspective has been gained. you are meant to be in my life forever. that is amazing. i love you so much. i don't say it because i can't. but you know that i do, and that's good enough for me. 1 cor. 2:9 Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 8th, 2004
12:25 pm	another day in wonderful-ness so, i wake up today at 9:30 to my neighbors, Tim and Tyler jumping on my bed yelling at me for not waking up for work. Mind you, I work at 9:00. Oh man... so, after hanging out, I finally get ready and show up at work at 10:00. I walk in all timid, fearing termination, and they thank me for coming to work and say that it's completely okay that I come in an hour late. I mean really folks, how stinking lucky am I to have this job. Anyway, now I'm at work, making a livejournal update, while getting paid. I probably shouldn't be on the internet as much as I am, but I just can't help it! I'm just really excited to be alive lately. I'm leading a Bible study next year in the dorms and I found out who my co-lead is and she's this amazing girl named Ande Upton. She's so my fun and has such a passion for the Lord; I know I'm going to learn a lot from her. We are leading a study in Sierra Madre Tower 0. When I lived in the dorms, I was in Sierra Madre Tower 1 so it's so awesome that I get to lead where i practically used to live. Tim and Tyler and leading a study too and they got placed in Sierra Madre Tower 0 for the guys. How perfect and fun!! I had a wonderful weekend; it was so amazing. Saturday, I did nothing and it was so relaxing. But, at night, I got a burst of energy and I started tap dancing in the garage for a good two hours. It was so wonderful. If I had the guts, I would straight up and move to New York and try to pursue acting like on Broadway. There is just something about singing and dancing that I love more that most things. Sunday was nothing sort of perfect. Carly and I went to church and it was outside in the park. We picked up Danielle before. At church, we all prayed for Bess for her trip to the east coast and then to somewhere else in the world. She is such a precious person and she is going to do amazing things for the Kingdom's sake that's for sure. Then a lot of us went to Pismo Beach for the lovely Carly Marie to be baptized. There were about 25-30 of us out there to support, pray and watch carly get baptized. Mind you, it was labor day weekend and it was crazy crowded by the pier which was where we were. We all got in a big circle and placed our hands on her and prayed for her. I was so filled with joy and excitement and gratefulness for carly's life and how she is truly one of my best friends, i couldn't help but cry. Robbie and Amy and Carly walked out first and most of us followed. Then they dunked her, in the name Jesus!! So sweet. It was such a beautiful moment that a picture cannot capture, but I took a million anyways like I was her mother. Everybody hugged and celebrated and went swimming in the cold pismo waters. The rest of the day was so delightful. We hung out at Cameron's house. He is such a rad guy with the coolest house ever. Then carly, danielle, tyler and I went for a bike ride downtown. It was your typical summer night in san luis...wonderful! Well, I am still at work, so I probably should go. School starts in a couple weeks so I'm trying to savor the end of summer as much as I can. It has been amazing and I can't wipe this smile of my face. Amen! mel (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, September 3rd, 2004
2:32 pm	endless summer summer is a wonderful time. living in san luis has made it one of the best summers of my life. with amazing new friendships, even more amazing old friendships, a new house with fabulous roomies, a job where i can show up late and i won't get fired, getting to do musical theatre again, going to farmers market by myself every thursday night, riding my bike anywhere and everywhere, having tuesday night "paint nights", road trips to san jose and camping in big sur, going to thrift stores on my lunch break, having my best friend from home visit, capturing most of the fun with a camera, learning how to surf, having my nose bleed in the ocean everytime i go out, sewing anything that has polka dots into something crazy, having my friends by me anything they see that has polka dots because i'm obsessed, decorating my new room that i get to share with the new fifth roomie, sneaking into an apartment's spa and pool and swimming all night, living across the street from the nicest group of guys in san luis, being woken up by my wonderful neighbors when i sleep in... everyday, listening to jason mraz as i fall asleep, having my dad come up to slo at the drop of a hat to move me into my new house, being so excited for the presidential election and supporting bush all the way, and, above all of these wonderful things in my life, learning and comprehending how much the Lord loves me by blessing me with this amazing life. Current Mood: joyful (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 14th, 2004
1:57 pm	get off me i don't know why i am doubting this in my head right now. i believe, i love, and i'm trying to serve. but i just had a moment where i felt as if it wasn't truth anymore. that what i stand on is not solid. it freaked me out. the devil is all over me and i'm scared. this sucks. lord, take this please. (Comment on this)
Monday, June 28th, 2004
3:01 pm	feeling the sun from both sides these times come along not too often, but when they do, they are simply amazing. lately, I have been receiving blessing upon blessing and all I can do is be in awe of the Lord's love for me. i felt pretty much stranded for a while towards the end of the school year, but now I can't remember a time when I felt as overall happy as I do now. the Lord's timing is perfection and I forget that too often. I spend time worrying when that is never what I should do. I've also come to realize that moms really do have a sixth sense of sorts with their children. my mom will call with a verse and always, without fail, it applies to what I'm dealing with. I love her so much. She gave me this one the other day. "Thy word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." pslams 119:105 Day by day is how the Lord intended us to live. Don't worry about the plans in our future because the Lord knows the plans for our life; those that will not harm us. The word is a lamp to our feet. We should walk in His will. The word is not a light over our heads allowing us to see five years down the road or even a week, it's a day by day. I just need to hold His hand and I will walk down the path that is right. amazing. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 9th, 2004
7:01 pm	day one i wanted to buy a new journal for all my summer fun but i like typing better so i thought it would be fun to have a livejournal. i mean, my bomb ass roomie has one, so what has taken me so long. this should be a fun thing other than myspace that can distract me at work even more. awesome. be my friend, please. bye. (5 Comments |Comment on this)